That's Not How You Do It!: questions to ask and activities to try
Lucy knows the right way to do everything, until Toshi arrives. That's Not How You Do It! is a gentle story about difference, open-mindedness and learning from a new friend.
What age is it for? That's Not How You Do It! is best for ages 3–6. Good for: Learning that there's more than one right way.
That's Not How You Do It! (Ariane Hofmann-Maniyar)
- Age
- 3-6
- Best for
- Learning that there's more than one right way
Read it and ask whether Toshi was really doing things wrong. It's a lovely way into talking about bossiness and different cultures.
What it helps with
- Bossiness and always wanting your way
- Different cultures and ways of doing things
- Welcoming someone new
- Learning from others
Comprehension and discussion questions
Pick two or three, not all of them. “I don’t know” is a fine answer, and you can always come back to it another day.
- “What did Lucy know how to do?”
- “How did Toshi do things differently?”
- “How did Lucy feel?”
- “Was Toshi doing it wrong?”
- “What did Lucy learn?”
- “What’s something you do in a different way?”
5-minute activities to try together
Two ways
Find two different ways to do one thing, like eating with chopsticks and a fork, or drawing an elephant.
Teach me
Let your child teach you something their way, and you teach them yours.
Free printables: That's Not How You Do It! worksheet and activity pack
This book’s one-page worksheet with the questions and activities above, plus our activity pack: printable scenario cards, three 5-minute activities and a “What could I try?” page for practising everyday skills together. Enter your email and download them straight away.
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If your child liked this, try
The Name Jar (Yangsook Choi)
- Best for
- Starting somewhere new and wanting to fit in
- Age
- 4-8
Colin and Lee, Carrot and Pea (Morag Hood)
- Best for
- Making friends with someone who's different from you
- Age
- 2-6
On Sudden Hill (Linda Sarah and Benji Davies)
- Best for
- Jealousy, and letting someone new join in
- Age
- 3-7
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By the Growing Wise team · Last reviewed: 10 October 2026
Growing Wise offers educational ideas for parents and carers. It is not a substitute for professional medical, developmental or mental-health advice. As an Amazon Associate, Growing Wise earns from qualifying purchases.