Elmer: questions to ask and activities to try
Elmer is a patchwork elephant in a grey herd, and he wishes he wasn't. This much-loved classic celebrates being exactly who you are.
What age is it for? Elmer is best for ages 2–6. Good for: Children who feel different or want to fit in.
Enjoy the colours and the joke when Elmer gives himself away. Then talk about what makes your child special, and what their friends would miss if they changed.
Why I like this one
Elmer is the book I'd choose for a child who has started to notice they're different, or that someone else is. What I like is that the other elephants don't just put up with his patchwork. When they find out it was Elmer all along, they celebrate him with a whole day of their own.
Try asking, “Why did Elmer want to look like everyone else?” before you get to the ending. It gives a child room to say how they feel about fitting in, without making it about them directly.
Apoorva, Growing Wise
What it helps with
- Feeling different from other children
- Wanting to look or be like everyone else
- Seeing your differences as something to celebrate
- Making others laugh and feel good
Comprehension and discussion questions
Pick two or three, not all of them. “I don’t know” is a fine answer, and you can always come back to it another day.
- “Why did Elmer want to be grey?”
- “How did he make himself grey?”
- “What happened when the rain came?”
- “Why did the herd prefer the real Elmer?”
- “What makes you different from your friends?”
- “What would your friends miss if you changed?”
5-minute activities to try together
Patchwork you
Draw an elephant outline and fill each patch with something your child loves or is good at.
Spot the difference
Look at a family photo and find one thing that makes each person special.
Free printables: Elmer worksheet and activity pack
This book’s one-page worksheet with the questions and activities above, plus our activity pack: printable scenario cards, three 5-minute activities and a “What could I try?” page for practising everyday skills together. Enter your email and download them straight away.
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If your child liked this, try
Perfectly Norman (Tom Percival)
- Best for
- A child who hides something about themselves to fit in
- Age
- 4-7
Giraffes Can’t Dance (Giles Andreae)
- Best for
- A child who measures themselves against what other children can do
- Age
- 4-7
You Are Enough (Margaret O'Hair and Sofia Sanchez)
- Best for
- Down syndrome, belonging and inclusion
- Age
- 4-8
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By the Growing Wise team · Last reviewed: 6 October 2026
Growing Wise offers educational ideas for parents and carers. It is not a substitute for professional medical, developmental or mental-health advice. As an Amazon Associate, Growing Wise earns from qualifying purchases.